A7

[Verse 1]
D          C             D                       C
That was a close escape, have to get a new hobby to relate.
A                 G        A              G
Something less conspicuous, won`t take up too much time,
G                  F          G                F
Something less energetic, for what I`ve got in mind.
  D
I won`t be too persistent `cos I`m not that way inclined.

D                       C   D                     C
See, that`s the one for me. Look under "Collins" see if she`s free.
A              G       A   G
Sweaty fingers find 5p 4151683
G                          F                G             F
"Hello Miss Collins you`ll not know me. I`m in the undies Business, see?
D
Please please can you tell me the size; how far from the knee?"

[Chorus 1]
Cm Ab Adim Ab
(No Lyrics Here!)
Gm          Eb           Edim         Eb
Oh dear dear, me luck is running thin
Dm           Bb          Bdim            Bb
I`ll take another name I might have a win.
Gm
What? 2 more points? I hope no one fills it in.

[Verse 2]
D                       C  D                     C
See, that`s the one for me. Look under "Dickens" CFG.
A                      G   A                  G
See if she`ll speak to me. Hand`s get shakey, eye`s can`t see.
G                   F  G     F
Having trouble find 5p 2171983
    D
"Hello Miss Dickens you`ll not know me, I`m in the undies Business, see?"

[Chorus 2]
Cm   Ab   Adim   Ab
(No Lyrics Here!)
Gm          Eb        Edim        Eb
Feel more relaxed now here we go again.
Dm      Bb              Bdim                Bb
Hoi! No temporaries I`ve heard most take me in.
Gm
Oh dear dear me, My luck is running thin.

[Middle 8]
   A                 F               Bb                 Bb      A
So please please can you tell me the textured fit feels good to me.
A            F     Bb              Bb        A
In the naked mood, try to grin and bear with me.
A                     Bb      F               C
Please don`t think me rude, I only hear don`t want to see.

[Instrumental]
D C D C
A G A G
G F G F
D

[Verse 3]
D                       C   D                   C
See, that`s the one for me. That was quick, too quick for me.
A             G    A                  G
Of that I can see, wash me laundry oh bugger me!
G                     F    G              F
Sugar or milk with my tea? No I couldn`t, well I`ll see.
D
What`s your hobby? Just the same as me, see you soon for tea.

[Chorus 3]
Cm   Ab  Adim  Ab
(No Lyrics Here!)
Gm           Eb                Edim              Eb
I`ll give it one last chance I think you`ll all agree.
Dm          Bb            Bdim        Bb
I`m getting no game here, on my last 5p.
Gm
I`m sick of waiting for ages nothing interests me.

[Chorus 4]
     Cm           Ab           Adim        Ab
I`ll ring another number, make sure it`s a she.
Gm          Eb         Edim          Eb
Here we go again, I`ll give it 3rd degree.
Dm      Bb                  Bdim             Bb
No hard feelings oh yes I`m sure you`ll all agree.
Gm
I`ll take another name I might have a win.

[Outro]
D C D C
A G A G
G F G F
D
(Instrumental To Fade)