E

E                   B             C#m  A
Here's a story from North America!

E B E

E                    C#m
Daddy, daddy, daddy, hurry!
  A             C#m B   E
I saw something scu-rry!

E                    B          
Son, what's all this screaming for?
       C#m             A
You're gonna wake the neighbors next door!

E B E

E                        C#m
Daddy, I think there's a spider on my floor!
A          C#m      B          E
Is it? And will you squish it?

E                          B
You call me in here in the middle of the night
   C#m                      A
To come into your room and destroy life?
E                 B             E
Is that what they teach you in Sunday School?

E                                 C#m
But Daddy, it's gross; it's got a million legs!
  A               C#m      B     E
A billion eyes! A trillion eggs!

E                              B
Son, it's not disgusting, it's just reality;
C#m                    A
Take a deep breath and appreciate life!

E B E

E                     B
Look how delicate his legs are
C#m                  A
Crawling across your bedroom floor!
E               B
Do you know the proper name?
 C#m               A
Arachnid!!! That's right!

E                              B
We're living in a world that's full of creatures,
C#m            A
Big and small, hairy and slimy,
E               B             E
You are not the center of the world?

E                       B
How would you feel if a giant hand
C#m                       A
Came out of the sky and decided to crush you?

E B E

E                          C#m
I guess I'd be scared, but Daddy!
A           C#m    B        E
What if the spider hurts me?

*pause*

E                       B
He didn't hurt you yet, did he, son?
     C#m                  A
Your logic is flawed, you come undone!
C            B     E
Swallow your pride.

E                           B
What if the spider said the same thing:
C#m           A
Daddy, daddy, kill that kid!

E B E

E                      C#m
That's the point, dad! What if he did?
A            C#m     B      E
That's why I have to strike first!

E
What if he did?
B
What if he didn't???
C#m                   A
What if the world was made of pudding???????

E B E

E                    B
All I'm saying is consider
C#m
Something
A
Besides your
E           B     E
Thirst, for blood

E
Dad, you're right!
C#m
Now I see!
A          C#m   B    E
Maybe he's got a family!

E
Now you're learning,
B
Understanding,
C#m            A             
Finally you're becoming human!!!

E B E

E                       B
Let's return him to his natural habitat -
C#m                  A
Put him in a cup and take him outside

E     B
  Godspeed.