C G Am G F G

[Verse]
Am                    F                 C            G
The books you think I wrote are way too thick
Am                   F            C                        G
Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a dick?
Am          F                       C            G
And I don't watch you when you sleep
Am           F              C                   Em      F
Surprisingly I don't use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep


[Chorus]
           Am       G             F
You're not going to heaven
                       Am             G               F
Why the fuck would you think I'd ever kick it with you?
                Am       G
None of you are going to heaven
F                  Am     G              F
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you

F F     F F      F F


[Bridge]
Am            G                      Am                      G            F
You shouldn't abstain from rape just because you think that I want you to

F F   F F   F F

Am                                  G                    C
You shouldn't rape 'cause rape is a fucked up thing to do


 C G Am G F G
(Pretty obvious just don't fucking rape people

Didn't think I had to write that one down for ya.)


[Verse]
Am            F                      C        G
I don't think masturbation is obscene
Am              F               C                           G             Am
It's absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen
            F                 C        G
You make my job a living hell
Am             F                 C
I sent gays to fix overpopulation
             G       F
And boy, did that go well


[Chorus]
           Am       G            F
You're not going to heaven
               Am               G            F
Eat a thousand crackers, sing a million hymns
                Am       G            F
None of you are going to heaven
              Am                 G                F
You're not my children, you're a bad game of sims

F F   F F   F F


[Bridge]
Am                         G               Am           G          F
You shouldn't abstain from pork 'cause you think that I want you to

F F   F F   F F

Am                      G                           C
You can eat pork 'cause why the fuck would I give a shit?

C G Am G F G
I created the universe, think I'm drawing the line at the fuckin' deli aisle?)


[Verse]
Am                F              C          G
You argue and you bicker and you fight
Am           F          C                     G       Am
Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night
     F                  C           G
Over what they think is true
Am         F              C                               G             F
But no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you


[Chorus]
            Am        G            F
You pray so badly for heaven
                Am         G            F
knowing any day may be the day that you die
                  Am             G           F
But maybe life on earth could be heaven
                         Am            G              F
Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

F F   F F   F F


C                     F         C                 G
My love's the type of thing that you have to earn
             C     F         C (x2)    G
And when you earn it you won't need it

x2


Am                     G                  Am            G       F
I'm not gonna give you love just 'cause I know that you want me to
Am                                 G                  C
If you want love then the love has gotta come from you