Chorus: D , A , G , Bm , A

[KEY CHANGE] CHORUS: E , B , A , Cm , B

D , A , G
INTRO
[Spoken] 
D
Instead of people actually telling their stories
A
You just got a bunch of millionaire metrosexuals that have never done a hard days work in their lives
G
But instead of just sort of figuring out the phrases and the words that they can pander into their crowd with
D
They just sort of list these words and phrases off
A
mad-lib style in every song and pander to them
G
Words like...

VERSE
[Sung]
D
Dirt road
Cold beer
A
Blue jeans
G
Red pickup
D
Rural noun, simple adjective
[Spoken]
A , G
And when you're not singing you just talk in the middle like this

D
No shoes
No shirt
A
No Jews
G
You didn't hear that
[Spoken]
D
You also didn't not hear it
A , G

PD  CHORUS
Bm
I walk and talk like a field hand
G
But the boots I'm wearing cost five grand
D                           A 
I write songs about riding tractors
          G
From the comfort of a private jet

CHORUS
D
I can sing in mandarin
A
And still know I'm pandering
G
Hunting deer and chasing trout
Bm                       A
Cold Bud Light with the logo facing out

D
Hear that subtle mandolin
A
That's textbook pandering
G                                    Bm
I own a private ranch that I rarely use
A

INTERLUDE
[Spoken]
D , A , G
One verse, one chorus in the bag
Now it's time to talk to the ladies
I am hoping my Southern charm offsets all these rape-y vibes I'm putting out

VERSE
[Sung]
D
Good girl
In a straw hat
A              G
With her arms out in a corn field
D , A , G
That's a scarecrow sorry. Thought that was a human woman. start that over again

D
Cold night
Cold beer
A
Cold jeans
G
Strike that last one
D
I want you
                       A
I hope you're feeling me
[Spoken]
                G                                 
Once again just talking in the middle

PD  CHORUS
Bm
We go to bed and you doze off
G
So I take your country girl clothes off
D
I put my hands on your body
A                          G
It feels like hay, it's a fucking scarecrow again

CHORUS
D
White mics and pampering
A
Fuck your ears I'm pandering
G
I write songs for the people who do
Bm                           A
Jobs in the towns that I've never moved to

D
Legalize gerrymandering
A
Tolerate my pandering
G
You got a beautiful mouth
                   Bm
I got a beautiful dick.
[Spoken]
                               A
You dumb motherfuckers want a key change?

[KEY CHANGE] CHORUS
E
Thematically meandering
B
phatically  pandering
A
I got a tight grip on my demo's balls
C#m                             B
Say the word "truck" and they jizz in their overalls

E
You don't know what land you're in
B
I'm in the land of pandering
A
And I'll be upfront
C#m                          B             E
I do what I do cause I'm a total fucking cun-try boy