If I was Washington
valleys would I forge for
If I was a fat man
fun would I gorge for
If I was gingus
gold would I horde for
Wish I had a dollar a day

If I was a gouger
gouge would I wish for
If I was a fisherman
fish would i fish for
If I was a french whore
frenchies I'd dish for
Wish I had a dollar a day

Turkeys are for flyin'
chickens are for eatin'
I'm all for fun
fun's forbidden
forbidden's forgotten
and forgotten's for gettin'
I wish I had a dollar a day

Buzzards are for circling
circles are for heroes
Heroes for floatin'
fiddles to Nero
Fingers for countin'
numbers for zero
Wish I had a dollar a day

If I was Washington
valleys would I forge for
If I was a fat man
fun would I gorge for
If I was gingus
gold would I horde for
Wish I had a dollar a day

If I was Washington
I'd wear wood teeth
If I was a policeman
I'd walk me a stone beat
If I was a singer
I'd stop right now
I wish I had a dollar a day