What a friend we have in Hoover
Freedom has no truer friend
Is your thinking left of center?
He will get you in the end
Does your telephone sound funny?
Is some stranger standing by?
Do not bother your repairman
Take it to the FBI

Are you now or have you ever
Been a member of a cell?
Are you running short of comrades?
Things aren't going very well?
Is the Daily Worker falt'ring?
Has your treasury gone dry?
Half your comrades know the answer:
Take it to the FBI

It's purely for investigation
As all its records plainly show
And that it has no further powers
Dillinger should only know
If you're bombed in Mississippi
And the cops ride gaily by
Just find the sheriff's closest buddy
Just take it to the FBI

Martin Luther King's a liar
His movement's full of shady guys
The nobel people must be crazy
They went and handed him a prize
It's wrong to criticize the Bureau
And any patriotic guy
Would round up Warren's whole Committee
And take it to the FBI