Got this funny feeling going through my head
That if I go down to the pub I might just end up in bed
With a blond or a brunette or a red head or two
But oh what am I saying that'll never happen to you

Can this be right? Can this be wrong?
Doing what I'm doing all night long
I love to brag, I love to boast
And all the lads in the pub think I've had the most

You see 'cos I just love to fantasize
All these thoughts I've got inside
It can't be healthy what I'm doing
I'd like to get them out my head
Before I go blind in my bed

Time to change is days and she's heading for you
She knows just what she wants and she knows what to do
She drags you back to her place step over the toys
The baby-sitters sleeping so we can't make much noise

It's been so long, I won't go fast
Ejaculation, celebration here at last
Pig in shit, cat and the cream
I open up my eyes, but It's another wet dream

You see 'cos I just love to fantasize
All these thoughts I've got inside
It can't be healthy what I'm doing
I'd like to get them out my head
Before I go blind in my bed

I've had this funny feeling lying in my bed
Someone's spreading rumours down the King's Head
But I've got this reputation and I can't stop it now
I'd like to be in heaven but this feels like hell

Can this be right? Can this be wrong?
Doing what I'm doing all night long
I love to brag, I love to boast
And all the lads in the pub think I've had the most

You see 'cos I just love to fantasize
I close my eyes she's always there
Why am I living this nightmare?
She's a darling in my eyes
But I just love to fantasize

You see 'cos I just love to fantasize
On my bed I always lie
Same old blue book in my hand
To the pictures I relate
Is this my world is this my fate?