Well, I'm a lonesome schoolboy and I just came into town Yeah, I'm a lonesome schoolboy and I just came into town Well, I heard so much about London I decided to check it out Well, I wait in Leicester Square where the guy never looks in my eyes Yeah, I'm leaning on Nelsons Column but all I do is talk to the lime Oh, where can I get my cock sucked where can I get my arse fucked I aint got no money, but I know where to put it every time Well I asked a young policeman if he'd only lock me up for the night Well, I've had pigs in the farmyard - some of them, some of them are alright Well, he fucked me with his truncheon and his helmet was way too tight