Air-con set to sub-arctic
If it moves it isn't quick
Major delays, cancellations
Tedious conversation
Trying to eat your dinner with an ass in your face
It's a disgrace

It's a journey into pure despair
There are fucking assholes everywhere
I can smell piss and shit in the air
Fuck you, southern trains
We're not getting anywhere

Journey into pure despair
I just wanna get somewhere
Throw away the itinerary
The whole rat race in one place, stationary
On your marks, get set, stop
Southern trains are top (uhh)

It's a journey into pure despair
There are fucking assholes everywhere
I can smell piss and shit in the air
Fuck you, southern trains
We're not getting anywhere

Them southern trains
Choo-choo!
Boo-hoo!
Yeah!
Them southern trains
Choo-choo!
Boo-hoo!

Heaving carriages of indignation
Grown men weeping in pure frustration
Totally packed and always late
Into the tunnel of hate

It's a journey into pure despair
(Got me on the rails)
There are fucking assholes everywhere
(It's a steam age nightmare)
I can smell piss and shit in the air
(Slower than snails)
Fuck you, southern trains
We're not getting anywhere