I Was Staring At Myself in the Mirrored Sunglasses
Set On Six Foot Five of Texas Ranger
He Hollered Turn Down Your Radio Son
I Stuttered Officer Wha-what Have I Done?
You Were Doing Better Than a Hundred and One
Why Ya Driving Like the Devil's On Your Tail?

I Started Pleading My Case and Getting no Sympathy
I Said I'm in the Feat... I'm Travelin' From Town to Town
Don't You Know My Face
I'm On the Radio Most All the Time
And I Didn't Realize I Had the Hammer Down
So Please Don't Haul Me Off to Jail

When the Feats Are On the Box the Speed Just Slips My Mind
I Start to Sing Along, Tap My Toe, Slap the Dash in Time
The Ranger Laughed and Said As He Looked Me in the Eye
Son Those Feat'll Steer Ya Wrong Sometimes

I Was On My Way to Puerto Rico On a 24 City Run
They Promised Me the World That's What I Got
'cause Texas Is a World All of Its Own
It Takes a Lifetime to Drive From Eastland to Van Horn
He Said Didn't You Hear My Siren Whine
I Been Chasing You Since the Jim Hogg County Line

I Was Thinking Real Hard About Tenderin' My Notice
But the Bills Came in and Piled Up to My Chin
Paul Called and Said We're On Our Way to Rhome
This Tour's Gonna Save Your Happy Home

Now We're Going To:
London, Liverpool, Italy, Paris, Egypt, Dublin, Frisco, Waco,
Athens, Gouldbusk, Troy, and Miami, Moody, Beaumont, Edinburgh, Lubbock
Pecos, Deadwood, Fife, Del Rio,
Houston, Austin, All Around Dallas
Texas Is a World All of Its Own

'n If You Let Me Off This Time
From Now On I'll Keep in Mind
That Those Feat'll Steer You Wrong Sometimes
When the Feats Are On the Box the Speed Just Slips My Mind
I Start to Sing Along, Tap My Toe, Slap the Dash in Time
But the Ranger Said to Me As He Handed Me the Fine
Son Those Feat Done Steered Ya Wrong This Time
Those Feat'll Steer Ya Wrong Sometimes