Hey, mister, where you headed? Are you in a hurry? I need a lift to happy hour Say, oh, no Do you brake for distilled spirits? I need a break as well The well that inebriates the guilt 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4 Cold turkey's getting stale Tonight, I'm eating crow Fermented salmonella Poison oak, no There's a drought at the fountain of youth And now I'm dehydrating My tongue is swelling up I say 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4 Troubled times You know I can not lie I'm off the wagon And I'm hitchin' a ride There's a drought at the fountain of youth And now I'm dehydrating My tongue is swelling up I say Shit! Troubled times You know I can not lie I'm off the wagon And I'm hitchin' a ride (Don't know where I'm goin') Hitchin' a ride (Don't know where I'm goin') Hitchin' a ride (Don't know where I'm goin') Hitchin' a ride (Don't know where I'm goin') Hitchin' a ride (Don't know where I'm goin') Hitchin' a ride (Don't know where I'm goin') Hitchin' a ride (Don't know where I'm goin') Hitchin' a ride (Don't know where I'm goin') Hitchin' a ride