(announcer) ladies and gentleman
miss velma kelly in an act of desperation

(velma kelly)
my sister and i had an act that couldn't flop,
my sister and i were headed straight for the top,
my sister and earned a 'thou' a week at least, oh yea
but my sister is now unfortunately deceased,
i know its sad of course
but a fact is still a fact
and now all that remains is the remains,
of a perfect... double... act

watch this!
now you have to imagine it with two people,
its swell with two people,

first i'd,
then she'd
then we'd
but i can't do it alone
then she'd
then i'd
then we'd
but i can't do it alone

she'd say what's your sister like
i'd say men,
she'd say you're the cats meow
then we'd wow the crowd again

When she'd go
i'd go
we'd go

then those ding dong daddies started to roar
whistled, stomped, stamped on the floor,
yelling, screaming, begging for more,
and we'd say
ok fellas, keep your socks on,
cause you ain't seen nothing yet

(instrumental)

but i simply cannot do it alone

so what'd ya think huh?
come on you can say

(roxie blows a raspberry)

(velma)
i know you're right the first part is shit.
but the second part, the second part is really nifty,

(takes a deep breath) ok

she'd go
i'd go
we'd

then those two-bit johnny's did it around
to cheer the best attraction in town
they nearly tore the balcony down,
and we'd say :ok boys we're going home,
but before we go here's a few more partin' shots,
and this, this we did in perfect unison

(instrumental)

now you see me going through it
you make think there's nothing to it
but i simply cannot do it... alone(hold note)