Colin Zeal knows the value of mass appeal He's a pedestrian walker, he's a civil talker He's an affable man with a plausible plan Keeps his eye on the news, keeps his future in hand (And then he) Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again He's pleased with himself He's pleased with himself He's so pleased with himself While sitting in traffic, Colin thinks in automatic He's an immaculate dresser, he's your common aggressor Colin's the modern retard with a love of bombast Keeps his eye on the news, doesn't dwell on the past (And then he) Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again He's pleased with himself He's pleased with himself He's so pleased with himself He's pleased with himself He's pleased with himself He's so pleased with himself (And then he) Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again Looks at his watch, he's on time yet again He's pleased with himself He's pleased with himself He's so pleased with himself He's pleased with himself He's pleased with himself He's so pleased with himself He's pleased with himself (well, he's a modern retard) He's pleased with himself (he's terminal lard) He's so pleased with himself (he's an affable man with a carotene tan) He's pleased with himself ('cause Colin Zeal's ill) He's pleased with himself (Colin Zeal's ill) He's so pleased with himself (Colin Zeal's ill) He's Colin Zeal and he knows