At the theater, I did meet her
And the show was whimsical and sublime
I'm in tatters, nothing matters
Til I grasp a big disaster like a mime

She's got the squeegee on the ouija
She can squeeze me, she can please me anytime
Don't disease me, don't you sneeze me
You can cheese me anytime, it's not a crime

In the first act, there was a jester
With an apple and a mango and some wine
He flung the ice-cube, he was so rude
And he jousted with the flaming huffy dog (? ? ? )

She's got the squeegee on the ouija
She can squeeze me, she can please me anytime
Don't disease me, don't you sneeze me
You can cheese me anytime, it's not a crime

In the courtyard, there was a large cube of lard
With decorations all around
There was a bandit, we couldn't stand it
He was sniffing the cube like a hound

She's got the squeegee on the ouija
She can squeeze me, she can please me anytime
Don't disease me, don't you sneeze me
Oh yeah