You know he's not the kind of man who likes to see the world around him
Crumble to a ball around his feet.
So he's always ready, he's always set, he's always well prepared,
he's the most peculiar man you'll ever meet.

[Chorus]
You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He's not the Tom Jones that lives next door.
He's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He hardly even lives there anymore.

He says excuse me, I hope you don't mind
that I followed you into this shop
but I couldn't help but notice that riding crop
Sticking out of your haversack,
Um, I wouldn't mind riding you bareback.
He's subtle on the dancefloor and he's suave around the bar
He's a quickdraw with a lighter, he's a pseudo movie star.
You know he was quite a singer, quite an actor,
quite some time ago.
He had quite a famous program, late night bedtime tv show.

[Chorus]

Well he opens up the curtains at the crack of dawn
Just to see the lovely ladies who have come and gone
From the house next door to his house on the lane,
He consoles himself that he's got his health and he knows he can't complain.

[Chorus]

He's not the King of Bedside Manor
He's not the King of Bedside Manor
Hardly even lives there anymore.

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

He's not the king, he's not the king, he's not the king of Bedside Manor.